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State
o' th'
Sea
| SWIMMING TO THE TOP |
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The Vulnavia Interview by Shaiibeard |
Our favourite monomonikered mermaid spent more than twenty years in
the trenches of the Atlantic Ocean, tirelessly promoting the cause
that was to become the Siren's Union. In her five years as that union's
boss she became the driving force behind the hotbed of mermaid politics,
before she moved into the world of nautical action films. Now she's
back again, with a tell-all autobiography that's raising eyepatches
from Argentina to Antilles. State o' th' Sea caught up with Vulnavia
on her current book tour to ask a few questions.
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 VULNAVIA AS ACTIVIST getting out the vote
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SOS: You've been a union activist, a movie director, and now a best-selling
author. What's next for Vulnavia?
V: I'm going to Disneyland! (Laughs.) Seriously, I'm really looking
forward to coming home to the Caribbean, settling down. I don't know,
raise a family maybe -
SOS: Or raise campaign contributions?
V: (Laughs again.) Oh, you've heard about that, have you? Well, it's
no secret. In fact, I'm just about to declare my candidacy in the
Governor of Tortuga election. It's something I've wanted to do all
my life.
SOS: What's the local reaction?
V: Well, I've been working with the Pacific Party down there, and
they've been very, very supportive. And the reaction from the average
pirate on the street has been great.
SOS: Do you worry about discrimination?
V: Not so much these days. I think we have proven over the years that
mermaids can be as good a pirate as any human. Who do you think brought
back keelhauling? I remember back in the old Sargasso Sea days, when
all a gal could look forward to was luring sailors to their doom .
. . These days, young merwomen can capture those vessels, commandeer
their crews, anything they want to do. SOS: How many mermaid pirates were there when you started out thirty
years ago?
V: Just me, baby. Just me.
SOS: And now there are hundreds. SOS: Now, that's progress! SOS: Do you have a favourite fashion accessory?
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 VULNAVIA AS ACTOR on the set of the blockbuster "The Fish Who Loved Me"
 VULNAVIA AS AUTHOR flusters Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show"
V: The eyepatch, no question. It's a classic!
SOS: Any words of advice for the young buccanneers out there?
V: Two words: Corporate Funding. (Laughs.) |
The Jolly Roger Flies High...As Piracy Feeds the Hungry (int'l edition)
By Sethuraman Dinakar in Singapore
© 1999 www.businessweek.com/The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
At 2 a.m. on Mar. 17, a bright moon hung over the Strait of Malacca. A twin-motor speedboat sped along the narrow body of water between Malaysia and Indonesia in pursuit of its target, the 5,590-ton Marine Master, registered in Panama and hauling soda ash. About 20 men clad in army fatigues, automatic rifles slung over their shoulders, scrambled up a rope ladder onto the stern and caught the 21-member crew by surprise. On Mar. 21, the pirates put the crew in nine inflatable life rafts and set them adrift; six days later they were picked up by a Thai vessel. As for the Marine Master, ''by now she would have had a makeover--new name, flag, paint, and crew. The soda ash would have been sold and the ship chartered out,'' says Noel Chong, Kuala Lumpur manager of the London-based International Maritime Bureau (IMB), part of the International Chamber of Commerce.
At least no one died. Piracy has long been a scourge in Asia, but the economic crisis has turned it even more vicious and costly for shippers. ''In the last quarter of 1998, we saw ships hijacked and whole crews murdered in cold blood,'' says Pottengal Mukundan, an IMB director. Of the 192 reported pirate attacks worldwide last year, 95 took place in the waters of the Far East and Southeast Asia, down from 110 the year before. But last year, 162 crew members were assaulted, maimed, or killed worldwide, up from 105 in 1997--and all but one of the 67 reported murders occurred around the South China Sea and the Strait of Malacca. Ship hijackings shot up 50% last year, to 15 ships from around 10 in '97.
Besides its cost in life and millions of dollars in cargo, piracy poses a grave threat to the environment. Experts fear a disaster like the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska. ''A similar incident in the Strait of Malacca could prove catastrophic,'' says Jayant Abhayankar, deputy director of the International Maritime Organization in London. Pirates have concentrated their attacks on a crowded 30-kilometer stretch of the Philip Channel, the southern half of the Strait of Malacca, through which pass eastbound supertankers. During one incident in the Philip Channel, the bridge of a large tanker was left unmanned for 70 minutes. Fortunately, no accident occurred.
NO DEFENSE. And many incidents are not reported at all because of concerns that an inquiry would disrupt schedules. ''We make money when a ship is sailing, not when it's grounded,'' says an official from Bangkok-based Great Eastern Shipping.
Unfortunately, there's not much shippers can do to ward off attacks. Many nations won't allow firearms on commercial ships flying their flags, and others won't accept armed vessels at their ports. ''All we have are water cannons on deck to douse the pirates and instructions to stay clear of small islands around Indonesia,'' says Lars D. Nielsen, chartering manager at Norden Tankers & Bulkers in Singapore.
Some shippers don't even take the pirate menace that seriously. ''We're worried about piracy, but we're not hiking premiums,'' says Graham Gordon, a broker with Jardine Insurance in Singapore. ''We're just being watchful of certain trade routes.'' No more watchful, certainly, than crewmen on moonlit nights in the Philip Channel.
Asia's recession, while creating chances for investors to feast on cheap assets, has also given a boost to the buccaneers. Rising poverty and unemployment in Indonesia make it easier for pirate syndicates to recruit there, say IMB officials and shippers. And inhabitants of remote islands are ganging up to attack ships for food and cigarettes. ''Some of these ships can feed a whole Indonesian village. And these guys have nothing to lose,'' says Nielsen of Norden Tankers. Cash-starved nations like Indonesia have also cut spending on the navy and coast guard.
Provisions aside, the recession has pirates hunting a different kind of booty. The IMB's Mukundan says there are indications that pirates are shifting their targets from general cargo vessels to tankers carrying marine fuel oil. ''In these waters, with all the small vessels and fishing boats, there's always a ready market for fuel at bargain prices,'' he says. And much of the pirated oil has been sold openly in China, say oil traders. As long as such opportunity beckons, the disciples of Blackbeard will ply their trade.
| Hijacked ship's crew found unharmed |

Attacks in SE Asia and Far East (1 Jan - 31 Dec 2000) | London, 13 March 2000 -
The crew of the Japanese-owned freighter MT Global Mars, which has been missing since 23 February, has been located, marooned on an island off Phuket in Thailand.
Further details are awaited, but it can be confirmed that the vessel was hijacked, according to the ICC International Maritime Bureau.
The MT Global Mars, carrying 6,000mt of palm oil products, was bound for the Port of Haldia south of Calcutta when it disappeared at the northern approaches to the Malacca Straits.
Reports reaching the IMB say that the 17-member crew of seven from South Korea and 10 from Myanmar are unharmed. |
Check the Weekly Pirate Report
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Cheng I Sao (Mrs. Cheng), a former prostitute, helped her husband build the Kwangtung confederacy, which included up to 50,000 pirates and 400 junks, and dominated the waters of southern China. In fact, at the peak of
the confederation (in 1809, two years after Mrs. Cheng officially took command) its fleet was larger than the navies of many nations - especially China itself.
So . . let Mrs. Cheng point the way!
ASK Mrs. Cheng! |
Swabby Strategy
Today we'll show you two new ways to swab that deck EFFICIENTLY and QUICKLY. Because who wants to spend more time swabbing than ye have to?

THE END-TO-END SWAB. Sailors have been cleaning the decks this way for centuries. Still works great, as long as you have time to swab during low-activity hours.

WHEN THE DECKS ARE AWASH with activity an' bustle, try the clockwise swab. It's easy - just keep scrubbing until you're back where you started. Minimum o' fuss.
Next time on Swabby Strategy: how to stay awake in the Crow's Nest!
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